Thursday, February 19, 2009

Craig's Best

Some days, you just feel mellow, or too brain-dead to do anything that requires thinking. That's when you browse the Best of Craigslist. The latest find? A "Free giant bug electrocution device of uncertain functionality:"
Today only, because tomorrow morning it will be out for heavy item pickup. Not that it's heavy, but we have a pile of other stuff and this will be out on the curb, which is where you'll find it if you have a desire to kill large numbers of flying bugs.

This is a device of the sort which uses fluorescent UV lamps to draw in bugs and then electrocute them with an electrical flash and crackle. It's a good-sized one, but probably weighs no more than 10 lbs or so. Some corrosion but if dusted off really not in bad shape. I haven't plugged it in, since even when it WORKS it's designed to zap things, so no guarantee of functionality, but the price is right.

So if you have mosquitos or other critters you'd like to declare jihad against, this is your WMD. In the coming depression one could probably use this during termite swarms to collect pounds of fat-rich termites for feeding your fish, chickens, or household guests.

Or for those with uncomplicated needs, one can simply get a beer and watch as innocent insects are drawn in and converted to smoking plasma and charcoal, thus reasserting man's rather tacky dominion over the earth. My dad used to think it was great, but in the end the bugs outlived him. Probably a lesson there about human hubris, but that goes beyond the leitmotif of this ad.

Stick a bow on top and it will impressively dominate the other christmas gifts under the tree. Available today only at the curb at 1116 Maunawili Rd. Emails of the form "is it still there" will be answered, otherwise you're on your own.

Location: Maunawili, Kailua, Oahu.
You'll have to go all the way to Hawaii, but is is really that bad?

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